At least now I hope that he still feels some attachment to me because I am still his wife and he is still having an affair as opposed to a single man 'flying solo'.
To be brutally honest, it doesn't look as if he still feels that attachment. His marital status means nothing to him at all at the moment.
If you return to pursuing, begging and pleading, where will it get you? Exactly where it got you before. DBing is for you, to make you stronger, to resurrect your sense of you and to give you some context.
It may be that your marriage lost some 'excitement' You hid your relationship for a long time; that makes it exciting perhaps? He's had an affair; that will have been exciting. Perhaps things became 'stale' and not so exciting (speaking from experience) What attracted him to you in the first place?
He thinks he knows everything about you and what you will do and how you will react. Don't be so predictable. Become more mysterious, get him wondering and remembering the woman that you were. I know this looks like you are doing it to 'win him back' but what actually happens is that you begin to remember who you were before and grow and grow away from the misery that currently engulfs your life.
Crying every now and again is normal and healthy. But ask yourself what it is that you are missing about him. There is a rule to this though. You can only say what you are missing about him now; not 'we used to......' missing him. That 'him' has gone. Are you missing the lies and the cheating and the drama?
Let the past go and let him go. If he wants you he will come back. Change is inevitable; growth is optional. Be the one who grows.
