Gaining speed (pain18 DB story, Part V)

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But how long do we put up with this? Do I just chalk this as a hiccup and continue to DB as usual with the added goal of R? I mean, when I told W that I need closure on this and want the pain to stop, she was expectedly neutral. She said that I fixate on these things when I have a bad week (which I obviously did by my past week post history) and told me that the conversation will be brought up while she and I think about this.

Should I continue my plans of the photo shoot? The 15 minute lunch hangout? I knew that her being involved with OM was still possible. I just hoped that it was not.

I just really feel like I messed up by exposing more of myself and my wish to have this end. But I also am happy that I set and reinforced (calmly) a boundary that I thought I established. Whether D4 is telling the truth or not, I don't know. But I am not acting in the same angry manner as I was before. That has to account for something. I still feel like I am becoming a better man. I just do not want to succumb to the pain that precedes it.

this might help you see it in a different point of view..

Link to original post.

Read a good quote i related to yesterday.

"My mother died. My spouse cheated, the pain was the same. When she confirmed her infidelity, the person i chose to spend my life with died"

Shes dead. When she swapped her persona when she met om, the woman i knew died. Never to return.