Jlh.... Forgive me because I didn't read your entire 1st and 2nd threads from the beginning yet, but did your H have an affair? My H has a lot of self-loathing about it, (even though it didn't stop him from doing it at least twice!!), and has on more than one occasion stated he's no good to anyone and can't imagine why I would want him around. They don't see any solution except to escape. What they don't realize, often until it's too late, is that their escape is no escape at all, because you can't escape from yourself. They try to fill the voids in often destructive ways. So, I don't know if this applies to your H, but he probably is internally beating himself up for not being able to do the work necessary for R, at least not now. Perhaps he is having 2nd thoughts? Who knows, and it won't help to ask because he probably won't say the truth that's in his heart. My H, several months back while in MC, said that if we do get divorced, he see's no reason why it can't be amicable and we remain friends. I'm not so sure about that. We'll see as we are early in this process.
I have been GAL like crazy for 2-3 months now, and 2 people recently told me I seem happy. I recently realized that I am. I am working on filling my life with nice people, and activities that bring me joy. Reengaged in my faith too, which has been awesome. Sure I have moments of sadness, or obsessive thoughts about what H is doing, but I try to quickly replace them with positive thoughts or an activity. I still don't want to be divorced, and hope H is willing someday to build a new marriage. But, in the meantime, I am getting on with life. I hope you can too. It is helping me through this process a great deal.
