Unsure what's next, what to do.....

[Wanted1]

Well, I did what I said I was gonna do. She kept trying to assure me “it’s nothing” and I said that is not accurate. You are still communicating with the OM you had an affair with. I needed to set this boundary for myself because I have a hard time helping with the laundry, dishes, kids etc. and this whole time she’s in the other room messaging with OM. I said it was extremely disrespectful to me and our marriage. Her response was “I’m treating this as a separation.” I told her I understand that but that doesn’t make it right especially when she’s still living in OUR house. Ended with her sobbing uncontrollably and saying she needed to collect her thoughts.

Woke up today pretty angry with me. Said she considered it a threat. I said it wasn’t a threat, that she had a choice and she needs to respect my feelings. She said “if I felt close to moving out before, last nights convo might have pushed her over the edge.”

At this point I needed to send a boundary for myself and I’ll live with the consequences. I have to. No going back. Maybe something like this is what’s needed to snap her out of her ambivalence to everything or maybe if she does move out she will then feel the real effects of that decision and give her the time and space she apparently needs. At this point I don’t care. I needed to do this for me. And I needed to show her I’m not some lap puppy waiting for her decision which I probably portrayed to her in the past. It felt like cake eating. She was getting all the benefits of staying together as a family especially when I’ve been helping out a ton more with everything around the house and kids but also continuing to talk to OM behind my back.