I am sorry you are here. Infidelity and the following rejection is painful. Plain and simple. Its leaves you feeling powerless.
But heres the thing. You do have power to move forward in your life. You have the power to choose to let him go. You do not have the power to change his actions or his mind.
People come here thinking that divorce busting is a techinque meant to win your spouse back. And thats impossible. Your spouse will choose to come back if he wants to regardless. The techniques preached here are geared at saving yourself.
Detach - let him go. Move forward with your life. Commit it in your your mind, that your marriage is over. Work in ways that benefit you, without thinking about him. Get a lawyer.
GAL- lots of self care. Go out with friends. Travel. Make it about you.
It sounds like you are still young, and it sounds like you have no children. Consider this a gift.
In order to have an affair, 1. He had to have lied. 2. He had to have had very little respect for you. 3. He had to have no empathy for a person he committed to.
His affair, his leaving is not about you. Its about him. He is not a loyal or committed person. He is a liar and a cheater. He is a liar and a cheater. He is a liar and a cheater. You have not lost a prize.
Its better to know this now then when you are older. A gift. Truly.
