Thanks guys. I'm trying to do better but flailing and failing. I was never very good at controlling my emotions. No idea if anything I'm doing is "working." It certainly isn't improving my R with W in the moment. Will it increase the chances of R later? Maybe, but like all LBSes say, "I know my W and when she says she's made a decision, that's that." I'm feeling stagnant, listless, stuck, unable to detach. And it has been really hard learning, for the first time, at age 35, how to make my own decisions.

As for exercise, the ankle remains broken and it doesn't feel any better after a couple of weeks using the air boot. But: one of the things I will be taking from the house tomorrow is my WaterRower. I have room in the apartment, and rowing is a low-impact full-body workout. I've had that thing for years and never used it (another of W's complaints). Time to get back into it.

I wonder if my outlook will change once I start getting some aerobic exercise for the first time since June.

Edit: you know what really scks is that last night I sort of did feel like AMOAFWL. I was enjoying myself, people seemed to like me, cracking funny jokes, being my old usual self. But behind all of that was just the same pain. The feeling of, "I had something good and now I don't, and there's nothing I can do to undo that."

Last edited by burned; 10/20/18 02:42 PM.
H: 35 W: 33
M: 11 T: 13

4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1")
6/23/18: I moved out
8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")