In the most natural and confident way I asked. "I miss you, come on up? "
W: I can't. (which pisses me off. I hate when W blames outside forces instead of taking ownership)
M: What's wrong?
W: I'm content not doing it.
Well fine. But then W goes into an R talk which is, as usual, an abstract puzzle with missing pieces. I mostly listen and validate. Nothing new, just reasons for detachment and how she has nothing to look forward to. (I so wanted to say, who's fault is that, but I refrained). So I go upstairs and continue with my morning and she leaves without the usual goodbye.
Now, remember W has been moving toward me for some time. Demonstrating respect and consideration like I haven't seen in years. I say this because my actions were not appropriate for the initial stages of DBing.
I send a text: So not even a goodbye, I'm leaving? (I know, bad RR17)
W: Sorry. I didn't know whether to say anything or not. (these "sorrys" are something W could never do before.)
Anyway, this is the first text convo in months other than "can you pick up..."
The last text I sent was my mistake: Last thing I'm going to say. It is disappointing when you read something into what feels like some sort of progress, only to find out that you are completely wrong and probably wasting your time and heart.
No reply.
Later that evening, W shows up temp taking and suggests D15 is out with friends and do I want sushi. She is as if she wants to pick up right where we left off. Now I'm not reading too much into this. Should I have sent that last text? Probably not.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
