[My ex treated me badly early on, but I just kept being myself and treating her with kindness ... Anyway I'm glad your H is more on the nice side like my ex, these situations are difficult enough without them behaving like asses..
Don't let the mr nice guy act fool you. I endured 6 months at home with him being an utter [censored]. At one stage (christmas) his mum had to pull him up and say to him 'you can't treat FS like that. She is a person'. And then another 3 months of him treating me like a nanny or a housekeeper - the person who looked after his kids when he didn't want them. All this whilst I continued to pay the mortgage, food, and day to day costs of bringing up two children. The niceness has been building for 3 months now and only ramped up when i discovered he was dating. It is definitely plan B stuff. But with the kids, I think his affection is genuine and coupled with the kindest he shows me, makes this sitch easier for everyone.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
I think you are doing better than OK
I have my good days and my bad. I tried to sleep without pills last night and I managed 5 hours (I woke up 3 times). It is at night that I get lost in the tunnels. In the light of day I realise there is no point and I just try and get on with it.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
OMG I would love to see his face if YOU hired a couple "stripping butlers" to HIS birthday party....
The naked butler thing is hilarious. The fact that he scowled when he told his mum makes it even more funny. It's like he thinks I am the one in crises and reverting back to my 20's and he is disgusted by it. He's the one going to clubs and dating. I am spending time with mums, doing yoga, going for the odd after work drink and journaling. Maybe there is something to that projection thing.
Journaling - We are going out for a family meal later for my birthday. I spend years not acknowledging my birthday and this year, it is like a week long celebration . H will be there and then will take the kids overnight. I am going out for dinner with one of D12's friends mums and have reached out to another mum to see if she wants to come along too. My friend is going through the final stages of divorce and is having a hard time of it. Her H has cut off her cards, refuses to pay the school fees, treats the children as if they are a burden, and pretty much told her and the kids that once the divorce is finalised, they are out on the street. She's not. She knows her rights. But he says it anyway because he is a controlling [censored].
Makes me realise that my problem, that is, a H who is trying to nice me into staying in limbo so he can continue to cake eat, is a nice problem to have as long as I see it for what it is.
