Thank you both. Expectations are funny. It is so easy to have them and not really realize it until you are in a situation reacting. Last night was interesting. My H was really emotional when he was talking about his stressful week which, honestly, was not that bad in the grand scheme of things. I’ve handled way worse. It occurred to me while talking to him just how poorly he handles stress... like he seems really fragile in some ways. I wonder if he has always been that way and I just didn’t notice or is this just indicative of how messed up his brain is right now? When he left last night, he gave me a hug and told me he was going to take the next couple of days to just de-stress and enjoy his conference. He told me to do the same with my sister. He asked where we were going but then added, before I could answer, “not that it’s any of my business.” I told him anyway. He had guessed correctly anyway since she and I have an overnight shopping/casino trip we used to take about twice a year. Haven’t gone for at least a year so I am really looking forward to it. My H is turning 45 on Sunday (really hate that he is 5.5 years younger than me). I thought about getting him something but decided that I would just help our daughter bake him his favourite cake.
So I did something a bit risky(?). Not sure. My H has maintained that his running away was basically running away from me and our relationship but not our kids. He said leaving them was the hardest part. I actually don’t believe him. I think he was running away from EVERYTHING that felt like pressure and responsibility. In actuality, even when he had the chance to spend more time with them (when I wasn’t around), he would still choose to leave. So... I proposed to him in an email that we switch places for a month. I suggested that he could move back in to our place, keep his rental, and that i would go and stay with my sister. I told him he could do all the daily things with the house and the kids (and I provided him with a LONG list) and I would see them on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. I told him to think about it and we can talk about it next week sometime. It will be interesting to see how he responds. I know if he agrees, he will do a good job taking care of them but it might kill him...lol. Anyway... I’m not 100% sure I could be at my sister’s for that long (she only lives 5 minutes from me so it’s not like I would be a world away) but I’m kind of tired of him blaming me for his behaviour...
