Marina, it really does get easier. Once you stop caring more about her than you do yourself and your happiness, you will feel a sense of liberation that will allow you to breathe once more. It is coming.
water attracts water at the same level your growth will far exceed W-and R cant flourish when one person gets healthy and one chooses not to
Originally Posted by OneArt
Marina, it really does get easier. Once you stop caring more about her than you do yourself and your happiness, you will feel a sense of liberation that will allow you to breathe once more. It is coming.
Wanted to say hello to everyone I will write down later tonight.
But in the mist of a busy day I forgot today would have been 11yrs together Our anniversary. But as crazy this might sound.
I didn't remember I totally forgot until I got a reminder in Facebook..
Yay... No tears or nothing just a normal day.
At BD Lesbian marriage Me39,W36 S9,D9,S8 adopted all three Together almost 10yrs Bomb Drop - April 2017 W movedout - May,2017 OW June,2017 Currently 2018 Me40, W38 S10,D10,S9
Best to forget--you can't really mark the passage of time you've been with someone when they took your heart and walked out the door. Count the passage of time that you have fought for your kids. That time is more meaningful.
It is good to see you reading and working towards understanding. The part in the brain book about the mind being broken like an egg, that does hit hard.
All the struggles you are dealing with in regards to W in therapy, meet ups, decisions, discussions, and so forth. You are handling yourself very well.
It is interesting when we forget an important date or event like your 11 years today. It is proof - detachment and letting go are starting to take hold. You will survive this, you will thrive this. Keep moving forward.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
As time is passing I am finding it more easy. To deal with W.
Is like I can tell when W is going to flip or when W is being nice. W wants something.
Unfortunately until court and I get s10 Home permanently with his siblings I will have to deal with W.
For now I call s10 when I don't have him every day. W answers... grrrrrr it frustrates me but I also Don't let it bother me.
I have said this once I get s10 home I wonder if W Will be a vanisher. The way I see W Is either W will get better or worse. Who knows.
Oh well we 4 just keep praying for her soul. Because I can't imagine the demons W is fighting.
Trios and I had a Halloween party yesterday So much fun. It was almost 10pm W met halfway To pick them up.
I did invite W but W stated she doesn't feel safe being with Me. I just ignore another excuse not to be part of kids life or Activity. So sad. But kids where so happy. They didn't want to go s10 said why we have to go to W house. Let's go home. Mommy call her tell her we don't wanna go. I listen to all three and said are you three safe at mom house. Trios yeah...
Well Trios only for 1day and 7 hours and pick ya up Sunday S10 well d10 and s9 I don't vet to go home with ya. I held him look at him in the eyes I said S10 you know am fighting for you and this mommy Promises you whatever it takes I am bringing you home To be with s9 and d10. S10 I know mommy, crying and squeezing me. M s10 you keep swimming when you close your eyes and you see a light you keep swimming this mommy is there waiting. You know I am also swimming and soon I will catch you and not let go. Right now I am fighting to Bring you home I will not stop fighting for you or your sibilings. I am here. I will be here forever. Trios and I did group hug.
W pulled up, Trios just got in W car. W wanted to talk., I simply said they are tired. W oh I thought they where mad at you. M not at all. Bye. I smiled at trio's and through them kisses and they catch it.
W stood there while I drove off like lost I seen W through rearview mirror get in car.
As expected W might wanted to know about Halloween party But W didn't go by choice. As W states she fears for her life but Wants to be best friends for kids and wants to chat in parking lot. Smh... that's all I can do.
Well, going to movies again and sushi with my Friend R who Been around, R was our friend, R has been there like my other Best friend, but as my bestfriend said R likes you.
At first I didn't think so as R was married 12yrs and separated for 2yrs. R has a d18 and has step it up in my eyes. But I looked at her as a Best friend also but lately I see her different as I see R so tender With my Trios, When d10 was sick R purchase medicine without question and drop Off at front door as I was not home. R has showed up when I don't wanna Be bothered, I have cried in R shoulder , R has been there through my worse
Trios Simply adore R. Also my bestfriend.
Well a month ago we went out for movies and drinks As friends but bestie says that was a date. I said no but bestie Says I know it was a date. I told my therapist and therapist said That was a date.
Well guess what R text to say hello. R said what you doing later I said Nothing, R said wanna go to movie and dinner. I went radio silent. R text I guess not. I replied is not like is a date lol. R replied It will be our second date. Lol I replied so is this a date. R yes, if ok with you. I replied movie and dinner ok
R ok fine. But its still a date. I replied lol
So I keep you posted on my date. Wow I can't believe I Was in a date and I didn't even know. It shows its been a decade lol.
At BD Lesbian marriage Me39,W36 S9,D9,S8 adopted all three Together almost 10yrs Bomb Drop - April 2017 W movedout - May,2017 OW June,2017 Currently 2018 Me40, W38 S10,D10,S9
Well here we are again. Another therapy meeting and nothing.
Once again all my fault , and W brag about OW how they getting married.
Well let's start with this weekend.
W felt it was ok to leave s10, and s9 with OW for 2hr while W went to mall with D10, due to boys being boys.
My concern is OW doesn't have good track record. Ow is young and doesn't have kids and oh yeah CPS case For gripping s9. W Said her lawyer said it was ok.
Well I don't think so first I don't trust OW. Or W They mentally abuse our kids is sad.
When W told me Sunday I simply ask W didn't you call me I would have pick up the boys. W yelled crazy because I can. I just drove away am done with W nonsense
Well I simply emailed GAL and my lawyer I can't with W
So today was therapy with W W of course is already pist from Sunday. W guard is up.
So therapist ask how was our weekend. W of course went on Therapist ask my side I said what I said. And therapist agreed about W shouldn't have left them without having something written down. W was defensive and angry.
W, what are you going to do when I marry her because we getting married. M just nodded and said Congrats Therapist ok but this about co parenting, you can't even coparent but You want your girlfriend involved. W well she not going anywhere, marina needs to know and accept it I am Marrying OW. M ok and nodded
W went on her rant. Therapist ask the question what is keeping us from coparenting M well let's say trust issues T ok understand W still ranting how she can't trust me, but I am an amazing person then said Marina broke me. I left because I feared for my life. Blah blah. T ok but can we coparent M I am trying but how can I when I give w just takes gave her example of This weekend. T finally got fed up with W ask W do you ever shut up and listen. Yelp I see therapist is getting tired of this.
I once again didn't say much. Because W was so focus on her marrying OW how OW has a phd in physiology and is an executive for a bank. W went on and on about her and OW. And yes looking at her phone.
I once again said my peace Therapist ask again and I said do I think we can Coparent No. Because as you see we coparent differently. I have different views. How do I even begin to coparent with someone who doesn't give.
I said my peace. We going back next week but I honestly don't see this going anywhere. W at this moment to focus on life then our kids.
I know I must stay focus on our kids. As much I want two parents. I also can't force W to be a mom.
W admitted she loves kids differently. W said I don't have love for Them like Marina does. I can't love them like her.
Which I nodded and said is ok to love them your way. One minute W cried and one minute upset.
Once again nothing. I only can pray for patience. And pray for W
And I wish W the best marriage. I wish W the best in life
At BD Lesbian marriage Me39,W36 S9,D9,S8 adopted all three Together almost 10yrs Bomb Drop - April 2017 W movedout - May,2017 OW June,2017 Currently 2018 Me40, W38 S10,D10,S9
sorry it seems near impossible to work with someone like your W but you are doing a fabulous job dealing with her She is delusional and acts like a child herself- you sound stronger and closer to accepting and letting go-
Hopefully your W will either step up to the plate or possibly let kids go as time goes on so she and OW can play
keep moving forward and keep thinking about the what you want for your kids know that one good parent is enough
they will learn from your role model
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
