Most of the things that work are counter intuitive.

1) Setting the spouse free
2) letting go of the outcome
3) Agreeing with them

Can your wife argue with you if you say this to her:

H:"I agree. This is not working for me either. "

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712