Thank you Sansa! Your advice is very helpful and it does help to hear I’m not alone in going through pain like this. I do agree that my H is very confused !! He gives mixed messages.

He is away for his work training this week and when he called the kids lastnight his colleagues were shouting in the background “is that your wife !?” Not sure what that means (don’t know what he has told them about us possibly nothing) he had a huge smile on his face and quickly made an excuse to get off the phone. I took a big test this morning and he texted me at 7 am wishing me good luck.

I also feel like over the past month or so I can feel a release of the tension there was when BD. He seems more at ease around me and “coming around”. Friendlier not as guarded.

He filed in July but there will be no hearings until February. I feel like when I’m in this “limbo” state I simply can’t let go of hope of us working things out. My IC has offered to see if he will come along to one of my sessions (not for marriage counseling ) but just to communicate in front of a neutral party guiding us. I don’t know if this will make him run for the hills or if it’s a better option just to give him a time and date instead of asking him if he’s open to therapy. I just don’t know how to handle him and all the mixed messages. I feel head over heels in love with him and miss him so much it hurts.

Keeping busy with the kids. GAL does help. I feel happiness in knowing I am raising two babies by myself right now , running a household , exceeding in my career ,ect. Makes me very proud of myself. I don’t “need” a man to do this. I just cling to hope he will get the help he needs and change his mind


Just found out He is going to his coworkers wedding tonight apparently. I could cry thinking about it. I’m 99% sure he is going alone but it’s like there is going to be an elephant in the room and every is going to be talking about why I’m not there. I have a fear he is going to be drinking and meeting single women frown ughhhh this [censored]