I thought the only way she would see me change is if I am at the house. Separations very seldom work as how can she see any changes in me when I won't have any contact. So basically this is the end.
These should be posed as questions here, not statements. Because you are in fact incorrect. We've had people here that lived in other states and even other countries and still showed their spouse changes. Things you do to change yourself positively WILL get back to your spouse through friends, family and social media. The less you try to show them your changes the more likely they are to notice them.
Regarding separations, in-house separations where the couple continues to live together rarely lead to reconciling. Usually it just makes things continue to deteriorate. It is extremely difficult to give the WAS the time and space they want and need when you are still under the same roof. The resentment just continues to grow. About the best you can hope for is a sexless marriage of convenience if living together. However, out-of-house separation gives the WAS the time and space they need. It also helps them realize that S and D is not going to give them the Utopian life they hope for. They get out there and meet people and maybe date and find out there are a lot of crap people in the world. It also allows the LBS to clear their mind of the WAS and go about the business of rebuilding themselves. There are no guarantees, but more recons have come after separation and even divorce than from in-house separations.
