AS - I know. I think of him too much. But there are no expectations. I know my looking good in a dress isn't going to suddenly make him realize he is a fool for leaving me. He knows what I look like.
When he left I was broken. Months of him belittling me, criticizing me and telling me he loved me but wasn't attracted to me, had made me doubt myself. I have slowly been rebuilding, putting the pieced back together. The shock of finding out he was dating threw me in a spin. But it has taken less time to heal - because I already had six months of working on me. So, now I make the effort for me. So I can look in the mirror and be proud of who I am becoming. I make an effort out of self respect. It is a bonus that he notices.
That's a perfect mindset!
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I am fortunate in that H is not a complete [censored]. I read some of the threads here, particularly with respect to the children, and I want to reach across the screen and shake the writer and say "they are not worth it". But I have not walked in their shoes. It is up to each individual to know when their own tipping point has been reached.
Oh yes, some people here have to bear unspeakable cruelty. My ex treated me badly early on, but I just kept being myself and treating her with kindness. At one point about a month after BD she actually told me she had been treating me badly on purpose with the hope that it would make me want her to leave, but she felt so guilty doing it while I was being nice to her that she decided she couldn't to it anymore. From that point on she was very nice and respectful throughout the whole process. I think a lot of WAS's think like she does, but rarely do they actually admit it. Anyway I'm glad your H is more on the nice side like my ex, these situations are difficult enough without them behaving like asses.
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I am doing OK.
I think you are doing better than OK
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He is reaching out an awful lot at the moment. Pleasant conversation, all children based. I was cool and aloof. As was he.
It sounds like he's worried you are slipping off of Plan B status. As long as you keep playing it cool I bet he will ramp up the pursuit.
