I’m sorry you are going through this horrible time, I feel youre pain as I am going through it myself although my sitch is somewhat different. But like you I think my H is going through a MLC, and is giving me mixed messages, I have made myself physically ill trying to make sense of it, but I found the best thing to do was to give my H a lot of space and try to GAL. I know its hard, that it feels like you have lost you’re anchor in life, and that YOU have to wait for him to wake up, grow up, see all the mess he has made and then come to his senses. The waiting and the not knowing are the worst. I have been journaling and trying to reach out here to people on the newcomers feed. It helps to know that I am not alone. It sounds like youre H is reaching out to you in tiny ways and I could see that it gives you some hope but also confuses you...my H did the same thing and slowly it seems like things are not as bad as a few months ago, but I would back off, no more letters, asking questions. I agree with what Steve85 said, how do you expect answers from someone who is confused himself. I think when my H sees that I am moving on and doing life with out him, he feels less pressure and I feel more safe to be around because I’m not placing all of my happiness in him. What I am learning and suprised by is that when I go out with friends, take a new class, journal, take a walk etc, I am making myself happy and nurturing myself which is great, and beats sitting around perseveration get all day. If he decides to stay in the M great, that is my hope, but if not I will feel good about taking care of myself and helping myself to move on. Please be good to yourself, you are worth it!
