OneArt, this post is incredible. You said everything I feel. I got another official divorce complaint today and have to meet him in court for the first time on Tuesday, pro se against his evil lawyer who was paid for by my kids' godfather. I've asked him to leave and he won't leave. In the complaint in addition to alimony, 100% custody, child support, all his legal bills and half of all assets, he even asked me to give up our name, which I have had for 20 years. I want to call under a rock and yet I want the new life you talk about so much and for this to be over if he is really going to do it.

And yet I feel all the things you feel.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.