AS - I know. I think of him too much. But there are no expectations. I know my looking good in a dress isn't going to suddenly make him realize he is a fool for leaving me. He knows what I look like.
When he left I was broken. Months of him belittling me, criticizing me and telling me he loved me but wasn't attracted to me, had made me doubt myself. I have slowly been rebuilding, putting the pieced back together. The shock of finding out he was dating threw me in a spin. But it has taken less time to heal - because I already had six months of working on me. So, now I make the effort for me. So I can look in the mirror and be proud of who I am becoming. I make an effort out of self respect. It is a bonus that he notices.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
That was very kind of him to buy presents for you even if for the D's to give you, believe me many LBS's here would kill to get that level of interest from their cold, uncaring WAS's. You're getting his attention which is a good thing, keep it up!
I take it for what it is. Kindness driven partly by guilt and partly to keep me in this limbo state so he can cake eat. I will take the kindness anyway. It is better then the spite he use to spew. Let him eat cake. Meanwhile, I will be enjoying my picnic and getting on with my life.
I am fortunate in that H is not a complete [censored]. I read some of the threads here, particularly with respect to the children, and I want to reach across the screen and shake the writer and say "they are not worth it". But I have not walked in their shoes. It is up to each individual to know when their own tipping point has been reached.
Thank you both for checking in. And neffer. I am doing OK. Undoubtedly there will be more bumps in the road, and more lengthy posts desecting every nuance of every interaction, well, at least until I properly get the hang of this DB'g thing. Might take a while before DB'g properly sticks so I apologies in advance
On that note: H has text me once today to confirm numbers for D8's birthday (I responded) and then called me to reconfirm the numbers I had already given him. He is reaching out an awful lot at the moment. Pleasant conversation, all children based. I was cool and aloof. As was he.
