Still Moving (Saying ILY Pt 7)

[SteveLW]

Good job mtb!! Keep up the good work. Glad to hear you are in a good place. My guess is she is going to continue to drag her feet on this. She is just so self-serving and obvious about it!

Stay strong!

[AnotherStander]

Anyway, I'm hoping the fact she agreed to this setup sets the precedent for the future...

It will weigh heavily in your favor so that is awesome that she agreed to it, congrats! It's very tough to change visitation once the precedent has been set.

I also got an email from her lawyer asking if she could have the kids on Halloween to go trick or treating because "Halloween really isn't his thing and I want to make sure the kids don't miss out on trick or treating". I told them I had already purchased the kids' costumes and planned on taking them. The way I see it, she just wants them for the photo op. "Look at me, social media! I'm taking my kids trick or treating! I'm such a good mom! Look at me!"...

Wow no kidding. How about "because I am their mother and would really love to spend time with them." No, she's got to make it sound like she's trying to save them from your lack of interest. Regarding that last part though, strike it from your mind. Shouldn't be on your radar.

I know she's going to feed them a bunch of BS, because she has in the past. Making excuses for why she hasn't been around and blaming it on me. Not sure if I mentioned it in previous posts, but several months ago, she told the kids that I wouldn't let her see them and showed them her phone with all the attempted phone calls that I did not answer.

Well if she pulls that then of course it's very upsetting, but you can't control that, so try not to let it get to you as that is just a form of her manipulating YOU by using the kids against you. The kids know what kind of a dad they have. And if you let it roll off of you then at some point your W will quit doing it because it's not getting the desired reaction. Remember an energy vampire is just after energy, they could care less whether it's positive or negative. You can't fight an energy vampire by feeding them more energy, but only by cutting the energy off completely.

[mtb1981]

Thanks for the input everyone. Everything this past weekend went pretty smoothly. She was 3 hours late to pick up the kids Friday, but had them back on time Sunday. She did throw quite a fit Friday when she got to the house. She kept calling, and I wouldn't answer. I did respond with a text asking what she needed. She proceed to call me names and demand that I answer the phone. I told her I would be more than happy to text her any info she needed. She again demanded that I answer the phone so she could tell me what the kids needed packed. I told her to just text me a list and I'd have it ready. She continued to call me names and say I was acting childish, etc. Got to the house and told me she was going to talk to her lawyer and have it put in writing that I have to answer the phone if she calls. That she won't text me, because it's just me trying to be controlling since that's the last thing I can control about her. I laughed a lot in my head when she said that. I just told her to do whatever she needs to do, but I'd be more than happy to discuss the kids with her through text whenever she needs to know something. Due to her history of gaslighting and rewriting the past, I feel a lot more comfortable having a record of any interaction I have with her. She doesn't like it one bit. Anyway, things are still going well. Hopefully won't have to deal with her for another week and a half. Take care, everyone...

[neffer]

Thanks for the update mtb. Moving forward. How´s GAL going?

Keep the lighthouse shining man!

[mtb1981]

Hey, neffer... Doing great. Got a weekend trip planned for this coming weekend to Chicago to see my favorite band for 3 nights. A lady friend that I've been hanging out with is going with me. Plan on enjoying every bit of it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I cannot stress enough how important GAL is. It pulled me out of my funk a long time ago. I wish more newcomers new the importance of it. It's hard in the beginning because you're so focused on the problem. Once you start focusing on yourself and your happiness, things really come into perspective. Without GAL, the mind has too much time to wallow and worry. I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't put as much emphasis on GAL as I did. Drop the rope and all expectations, be the best version of you that you can be, and everything will always work out in the end. Sometimes in ways you never even imagined...

[AnotherStander]

^^^ Pushes "like" button^^^

[OrangeK]

You are an inspiration sir. Thank you for being a staunch supporter of mine.

[neffer]

Hi mtb, are you still with us? How about an update?

[SteveLW]

bump, mtb, Just read a post in my original thread from you of support. Miss you buddy! Hope all is well.

[mtb1981]

Hey, everybody... Haven't been on in quite a while. Everything in my life has been going great. Don't have a lot of time right now, but I'll definitely give you all a full update when I get time. It's definitely been interesting, but everything seems to be working out. Lol...