One of the things that was pointed out early to me was "Is what you're doing making it easier or harder for her to reconcile?" You should be asking yourself this constantly. (Hint: "forcing" your way back in, with a history of physical intimidation, is a red flag.) One of, if not THE biggest thing for women is to feel safe and secure in the home. Right now she doesn't, and anything you do to confirm that feeling of being unsafe is going to drive her farther away.
You are worried about her not seeing the changes if you are separated. You have kids, you will interact. She WILL see the changes. It might take time.
Go see a lawyer.
Good for you for reestablishing a relationship with your mother.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
