I guess this is piecing

[Did]

I will read NMMNG again, slowly and take notes and make sure it sinks in more. It was eye opening the first time I read it as I related to a ton of the issues with NGS.

The first day or two after MC I felt worse - going from sex and thinking we were piecing to dating 1x every 2 weeks and taking it so slow. I understand this is the healthy approach. But obviously it is not as fun, sexy etc... but it's time to figure this out and act like adults. Now after a couple days I feel better. Although I'm unsure if / how things will work out. It's hard for me to believe us not seeing each other or talking will make us come closer together. I think this will allow me to detach. I am able to concentrate on work better and I've been sleeping better.

I have not reached out to W. She has texted me some and I've been brief. She has sent voicenotes with pics from D4 and facetimed the last two mornings. This morning she texted me she was supposed to get her period and hadn't she was nervous. A couple hours later she got it. We did talk about just having to trust each other. I think we're on the same page finally. We have talked on the phone once or twice when she has texted me a bunch I've called when I was free. Said I didn't want to text so much. Being less available.

I workout, do yoga hopefully once a week, read, coach, journal, play lacrosse, I had lunch with an old friend today, we are going to get lunch weekly. I am going to start hiking more, and want to continue to travel. I go to Hawaii next week for 5 days. Putting some strain on W to have D4 more but it is what it is.

Yes I need to slow down and be patient, this isn't a game I can work harder to win in the 4th quarter. Working on myself. According to an astrologer my mind is the fastest in the zodiac based on my birth chart. Slowww down.....

Accepting W has a lot of work to do on herself and I cant do it for her. Accept that the only thing I can control is myself no matter how positive I am or how much love I feel, it's not my timetable. Her needs matter as much as my own and they are very different.

So we have a lunch date tomorrow, Im going to her house around 10am and will hang w D4 then take her to school then we go to lunch. When we first connected (we knew each other a little bit in college), we slept together a bunch of times the first night.... now we are dating and not sleeping together and hoping to build trust and friendship. We have always struggled with communication. Going to think of some good topics for lunch convo tomorrow. Wish me luck. Thanks for the support.