Getting Back to my Old Self

[DonH]

I want to be careful how I word this because I really, genuinely value pretty much EVERY SINGLE COMMENT that is provided here. I may not agree, I may even very much disagree but I value and consider the input and don't ever want to diminish or discourage that. That said, it does get tirering when people seem to just shoot from the hip, give two seconds of thought and maybe even repeat things I think I've clearly explained in the past. Once again, Dawn you do not even come close to falling into this group. You clearly take the time to read, think, weight your comments and then provide them as best you can. You never shoot from the hip, so I just wanted to be clear about that.

Of course just because I may often agree with what KML or Ginger or Dawn say, does not mean I always do, nor that I don't value or want to hear from others!

As KML did this morning, Dawn has now pretty much answered the telephone thing just as I would have. But I'll ask as well, what was I supposed to do? We live over 60 minutes apart - and with a major road construction project going on that Wild Girl really didn't want to drive through, it was taking her closer to 75 minutes to get to me - and another 75 to get back home. We are both rather busy - her being a full-time single mother. The kids NEVER EVER NOT ONCE stay with their dad. If we didn't talk on the phone, we would not have gotten to know each other. I am careful about text - especially early on as it can get confused. But even on the phone, much of it was just mindless banter and fun. It was not deep, serious stuff but even when it was, it was NEVER her crying on my shoulder, talking about other guys, etc. We did have deeper conversations but it was often on the phone - not in person - that she'd tell me how she just had a long conversation about me with her BFF or with her work BFF. It was THOSE comments that pulled me in closer. While she said "We are just hanging out" her other words and actions showed different - like going to a concert with her female cousin and sending me pics while it was going on and calling me on her way home while cousin was driving. She would often text me a photo of where she was and share things with me. It's these things that brought us closer and SHE initiated much of it. I know this coach would say, don't do that, but if I didn't I'm betting we'd never have gotten as close as we did.

Again this coach is mostly running a business, from what I can tell, has absolutely ZERO training other than being self taught by experience, and is selling his books and coaching "services". All the more power to him. Some of his concepts are solid and I'd agree with them. Others, especially these "rules" and "read my book 10 times" I just question more heavily. I just don't think his tactics are for getting a quality woman. I think it's for having better game to hook up. That's just my take.

Again Dawn you are very much on target with saying you'd reimburse me for costs if you bailed. I strongly believe Wild Girl would do the same - or at least offer to. Among the things in the "plus column" for her is she has always from the first date on been extremely generous. No matter how much I tried, she would not let me pay for our first real date and has always continued to pick up the tab, bring things along with her, buy things, etc. She may well have paid for more things of us getting together than I have. She's also never done one thing - even hinted about backing out of the cruise. EVERYTHING toward this end is ME mind reading or guessing - based on her past and now more recent behavior. She did back out of one or two planned events and talked about backing out of more than half of them - but then went through anyhow. I think that's just part of her and her anxiety. I really do think the only way she will bail on me now is if we have a really big argument, or she gets a BF who doesn't want her to go. I don't think either will happen but if they did, I think she'd offer to pay whatever it took to fix. I know if she did, her friends, family, kids - everyone will look at her and say "Wild Girl are you crazy, you're going to back out on such an incredible opportunity?" And I'm sure she knows this.

Yet again, the costs involved have really not been my concerns, it's the logistics of it all - including now assigned seats on Delta. Even if I did blow off that ticket and pay for someone else, she'd likely not get on the same plane - and for sure not sitting with me and the 6 others. What would have to happen is to get that plane ticket name changed. That's really the only legit option.

But let's stop talking about it. It's not yet happened (WG bailing), I don't think it will so what remains now is what I want to do going forward - not only with Wild Girl but with anyone. That's my focus. I still need to respond to JuJu and then it's getting close to time for a new thread - very opportune time for a new thread actually. Life is a process and you learn new things with every R you have - no matter what kinda of R it is. I've learned things about myself and am discovering more. I thought I knew what I wanted and didn't want, and mostly still think I do but I may be wrong or it may be shifting. That's where I'm going to start my focus on for the new thread when it's started. Thanks again EVERYONE for your comments. They are valued..