Good job. You are getting better in how you interact with her. Don't be "weirded out" by anything she says or does b/c I am giving you fair warning that she will give very dramatic scenes of "Woe is Me". She will cry, fall down on the floor, fall into your arms...….whatever it takes to make you feel sorry for her. Yeah, the cheater who is having a pity party wants the betrayed spouse to pet her and soothe away the consequences that come from cheating and breaking up a home. Ironic, isn't it?
I want you to remember something. Just b/c she's throwing these big dramatic scenes and crying how she "just wants her baby", does not mean that one thing has changed in her. Not a thing! She's just as wayward as she ever was! This dramatic acting is nothing more than her trying to manipulate your emotions. Notice how she even hugs you when she starts to leave. Stop and think about it. How twisted is that? She wants her cake with icing galore. I realize it may be difficult to witness one of these performances, but just stick to your guns. Don't feel sorry for her. The WW has to experience the consequences of her actions. Not being able to have her child whenever she decides she wants to spend time with him, or get a look at him...….is just one of those consequences. Not that you are punishing her, but b/c whenever a mother decides to break up her home, she has to give the other parent his equal share of time with the child. In some cases, it may be more or less equal time. At any rate, this was her doing, and for her to expect (and yes, she does expect) you to feel sorry for her and give her what she wants in that moment...….is ludicrous. But, that's the mindset of the WW. In spite of everything she's done to hurt you, she still feels entitled to whatever she wants.
If you ever want to put it to a test, just say "no" (or don't sway from your stance) whenever she is throwing one of these dramatic performances. Don't hug her. Don't show sympathy, b/c she has to see that you aren't buying into her performance. Understand? The WW is trying to sucker you into feeling sorry for her and serving her a big ole slice of cake. If she gets mad at you, then rest assured nothing has changed in her......and this little scene was the equivalent to a spoiled brat falling on the floor and bawling, to get you to give in to her. However, should she quietly cry and calmly accept your decision, then that's a good sign. It is one of the first signs of her accepting the reality she has caused, and knowing in her heart that she doesn't deserve so much as a kind word from you. In other words, a little dose of humility does a world of good.
When the entire picture of a WW is observed (whether it's her pity parties, manipulation, rebellion, resentment, etc.) you'll see the sense of entitlement and selfishness in her. That's what the H is really dealing with. He gets distracted by other things, but if he will watch, he'll see how everything is centered on her.
I may sound like a cold hearted b'tch, but I'm really not. I just know how cold hearted a WW can be. I know as long as her H is vulnerable to her tricks, he's going to continue to get played. So, I keep showing up, telling you guys to beware.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
