1 year in, and still surviving

[DnJ]

Hi black8

I agree with job. You will not get closure with a divorce.

I am currently looking at my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs regarding marriage, standing, divorce, vows, etc... So it is interesting we are discussing closure.

I think unless there is piecing and reconciliation, closure is many years away. We will just not get the answers that will satisfy us. The MLCer has trouble with their justifications, so how could we find closure with those reasons.

As job said some push this through really quick, like my W 2 months. Others take forever, like OneArt’s H, I think he is pushing 7 or 8 years and still not done.

As to a timeline. I do think they believe they have a timeline and are making these well planned decisions, until they start to see things a bit different. That unfortunately takes a while, if it ever happens. Also with their swiss cheese minds time does seem to travel different for them. Depression eats away time from the, and I am suspecting that “whoever” is in control only senses time, or at least a good portion of it. When / if they wake it will be Rip Van Winkle for them.

So pushing for closure in my opinion is futile, we work on acceptance, closure will happen later.

I like your view on this, she wants the divorce let her do the work. Unless you need some protection or such there is no point in speeding things along, and no point in being a roadblock, just go with what she is doing - in your own time.