Getting Back to my Old Self

[DonH]

Well it's more complex than that around the cruise, right, Don? The money comes from the company that hired the band, but if Don shows up without a date then he's the guy who wangled his way into having his own room by himself instead of sharing with a bandmate and that looks kinda bad. I get it.u'll need to turn your attention to like

OMG, KML thank you for bringing me back off the ledge and keeping me from losing my shlt LOL. I've been trying to explain this concept here for over six months now - must be a dozen times I've tried, yet it's clearly a difficult concept to understand - I guess if you're not in the business. But yes, exactly as KML said - it's more complex - she 100% nailed why. And if it was my money - seriously, giving up nearly $2,000?????? - KML, do you see what I mean how you and I look at money TOTALLY differently than much of the world and how the fact that I might be financially secure means little to most women.

Just be aware, that it's possible that you are actually ready for a relationship again - maybe not living together or marriage, but a steady monogamous dating thing. If so, you'll need to turn your attention to likely candidates

Ding Ding Ding and I think we have a winner! JuJu you asked so many questions that I'm going to try to answer later but you made the comment of she is just not that into you. Well the "problem is" she totally was. That seemed to have changed a month or so ago and is less so now - clearly. I came into this with the totally right mindset. My bottom line feelings about her have never changed in that she's not a LTR contender - never was - very likely never will be. But it was many of you that said, well why not? Give her a chance, etc. And I did and as Ginger and others pointed out we got much much closer as she was very into me. Read back through everything I wrote and that was as clear then as it is the other way now. Her being that into me I'm sure increased my interest and attraction towards her. I was having way more fun that I ever though I would and enjoying things more than I ever thought.

So right along those lines, yes, I have warmed to the idea of exactly what KML stated:

"maybe not living together or marriage, but a steady monogamous dating thing."

I think that's what I'm kinda waking up to here - that I guess I do want exactly what KML is suggesting. Wild Girl is not the girl to do that with. But until I find that person, Wild Girl can still be fun to do things with. We just need to get over whatever bump we hit this past month and then I need to stay in the right mindset. Now, if she does disrespect me or anything of the sort, trust me, I will not kiss her butt (or anyone's) That will not happen.

As we all know it is never good to place expectations on people as if you do you will always be let down.

Really Joseph? That's what it's come to? And I guess I don't totally disagree with you but wow, what a sad world and a sad life if this statement really is true.

I do think though "The Coach" is more right than wrong when it comes to this new world of dating.

He might be, but then that's why I want less and less to do with this "new world of dating." If ghosting is the norm, accepted and the right thing to do, I guess I don't want to be a part of it. I think this coach will help you find the wrong women - the ones that will turn into WAW and WW. The ones that will cheat on you, play you, etc. He will teach you how to beat them at their own game. If so, then his rules will land that girl. I just don't want to land that type of girl.

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So I had another night of communication with Wild Girl last night that was again pretty close to normal. So I continue to agree with KML that she's clearly not thinking of bailing at this time and as we get closer, unless I've completely mis-assessed her including my connections and ties to her family, she won't wait until it's too late to do that. So, really, it appears I have EXACTLY what I THOUGHT I wanted - someone to go on the cruise as well as hang out with occasionally - or as you guys keep saying, hang out, have fun and hook up with. I just need to not get sucked back in - and since I'm rather good at learning lessons, I don't think I will again. And it would appear, the less interested I am, the more comfortable Wild Girl is. It's a win-win.

In the meantime, it's getting more and more clear to me, as KML stated, that I may want more from someone. Perhaps it will be with OLD girl, or with the friend of a friend dean of nursing or with someone I've not yet met. Sadly, I know me and just like how I was wrong about what I thought I wanted before - then got - then wanted more anyhow, I could be wrong again when i get the new things I think I want. Or perhaps I just want what I don't currently have? Who knows but the past seems to be towards that. I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.

As for now, I'm in a much better place than I was a week ago, including being more optimistic about things. Let's hope it holds. I've got to get some work done here and then I'll tackle JuJus questions - because she took the time to ask.