It's not the detaching that is my only source of grief.
It's the sadness and hopeless feeling that I will be in my mid 50s by the time I get another chance. Is it possible? Yes. Is it probable? I hope not.
I do know that shortly after BD I was flailing and so desperate to keep up with WAW's dating I went full-charge on numerous dating sites. And that was an extremely sobering reminder that as a man, dating is an extremely competitive endeavor. Out of 200 or so attempts to make contact, I had one date. And she was definitely not someone who I had any interest in. It sapped whatever morale I had built up. And that is when I started to indulge in unhealthy behaviors (alcohol, prostitution, food) because I did not know how else to cope.
I am not falling back on the bad behaviors. I look and feel better.
