Ugh... just got back from parent-teacher interview. I felt surprisingly uncomfortable the whole time. Actually...borderline loathing to be around my H. He was so pleasant... self-satisfied with getting his promotion at work. Good thing they don’t know how messed up he really is. Left right away afterward with this annoying sing-songs “bye” ringing in my ears. Having a mad moment. I’ve been so good lately but today I just felt like punching him from the second I saw him. I made myself feel a bit better when I got home by shoving all of his clothes into a corner of our closet and spreading all of mine out onto his side. It feels good... and yet another step closer to separation. I so so hate this. I just keep reminding myself that I have really lost nothing that is real in all of this...except for four years of my life which is how long my H has been “away”. This really, really [censored]... the ups and downs of this process. Some days I feel really strong and forward-moving and other days... that sick feeling, the anger... the disappointment... it comes in waves. No way to get over the pain except to go through it. No truer words were ever said. (((HUGS))) to all.
