If you ask your questions you are going to get words in response. Remember, believe nothing he says. So why ask questions when you can't trust the answers?

As far as the wanting to die, you need to get into IC IMMEDIATELY. This is unhealthy. No one should hold that kind of sway over your life. Your H could pass away, does that mean you wouldn't want to go on living without him? If the answer is no then you are too attached.

You need to fix you. Not your MR. If your MR comes along for the ride, great! If not you will be fine NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.

You need to get healthy. Life is full of unexpected surprises. Happiness should come from within not without.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018