I've still not heard or seen anything on the divorce. I really thought the tax change would be motivating to him because it will likely cost him $60k or more in taxes he can't push off onto me. Why would he let the end of the year go by without making any effort to save this money? According to my lawyer, if he doesn't do something very soon he will run out of time.
Can he plead Force Majeure to have the amounts adjusted so that his net income hit is the same? Depending on your relative tax brackets I would presume that would mean less after-tax cash coming in for you.
My own opinion - based on my limited experience with my own ex - is that she just never dealt with things. While we were married, I did most of the tough adulting. Now, if her level of preparation of her side of the settlement is any indication, she just continues to ignore things.
Of course it's a very different situation for me. The kids have their own relationship with their mother that I have nothing to do with and I am also 99.5% sure that she absolutely wants no contact from me. "Of course" if I came to her begging her to come back, she'd ignore that but feel pretty darned awesome I expect.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Force Majeure won't help him, but of course he will argue that his income is less due to the amount of tax he has to pay. I will of course counter with the fact that I have been trying to get this matter resolved for 2.5 years while he has been stalling and that it is not fair to penalize me for a consequence that he could have and should have avoided. Nevertheless, the court will do what they do. I'd rather not pay the tax because it will substantially raise the tax rate on my earnings as well. There is no set formula here for anything. Just shocking that he doesn't want to tie this up and guarantee a result (and I reminded him of the tax change at tax time).
It is true, he does not deal with things. He assumes that if he waits long enough they will eventually resolve or he waits until someone forces him to act. The main characteristic I have observed with him over the years, and true also before his crisis, which I believe is undeniable, that he is a passive aggressive. If, as I suspect, the OW2 pushed the divorce filing (as I was doing the same at my end) then he is doubtless stalling to get back at her, and hey, if it makes me mad it is a twofer.
I don't think he wants anything from me except kibbles and sitting on the shelf long-term as Plan B. He too would love nothing more than for me to tell him I would do anything to have him back (I never have and never will). He has always sought very negative supply from me. I am giving only silence and grey rock these days. My daughter has had him blocked for months, so her life doesn't change by this and my son does not seem to care.
I think your ExW is in that funk we hear about. They think the divorce is going to make everything better, only it doesn't. She is still being treated like the mistress over the store and taking whatever she can get. I think the weight gain is a good indication that she is not happy. This is what I take by his continuing presence on the dating sites. If it was all that, he wouldn't need that boost anymore. I think when they turn again their core beliefs to rationalize what they do, it is very hard to come out the other side.
I agree very hard for them to get better so they choose the easiest route and in their mind of denials, it makes sense a new OW, a new drug, new clothes will fix it
a few might come out the other side, but with the issues and problems of a 5-10 year drunken hiatus
and I believe many Mlcers would need extensive therapy after MLC to really resolve all the damage
many will never recover the loss of their kids-it could never really be the same for same
I am grateful my children did not have the continued negative influence of XH and OW
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I'd rather not pay the tax because it will substantially raise the tax rate on my earnings as well.
Are you sure about that? Normally the tax rate on that additional income is higher but the tax rate on your income will still be what it was, because of the step wise nature of our tax code. It might affect your eligibility for some things however (such as the ability to put money into a ROTH IRA - my income with alimony is too high, but without alimony I could contribute - not sure how they'll treat this when the new tax law goes into effect.
kml, I am not entirely certain of it, I just understand that it will be treated as income to me and raise my tax rate about 15% across my earnings. I am still waiting to see what implication the new tax code will have on me. I will drill down with the specifics of it with my accountant, but since I have to pay for her time, I am loathe to do it when there is no indication on the horizon that he will do anything any time soon and I will have to begin the conversation in January anyway. The court here will not push him to act and the first deadline that means anything is next July, but even that he can extend multiple times.
He did place a call to son last night, while son was at his activity. I think that is pretty standard behavior for him. He has been in hiding so he didn't really want son to answer or face the rejection of him not answering. No message left. Still has not contacted the insurance company.
No it doesn't work that way with taxes. Here's an example with tax brackets for head of household filing: 10% Over $0 12% Over $13,600 22% Over $51,800 24% Over $82,500 32% Over $157,500 35% Over $200,000 37% Over $500,000
So for example - if you make a taxable income of 51,800 you pay 10% tax on the first 13,600, 12% tax on the amount between 13,600 and 51,800. If you received $20,000 in alimony on top of your income, you would pay 22% taxes JUST ON THE ALIMONY, while still paying your previous tax rate on your own earned income. Get it?
Yes, I did know that at one point. Probably just feeling some uncertainty about the new tax code and how a private agreement in contravention of the law change (but grandfathered in) would be treated. I suppose for me the good news is that he is very unlikely to pull it together and present an agreement that I would accept before 12/31, so pretty clearly we will be under the new law where the alimony, like the child support, will be taxable to him. I like simplicity. It holds a certain appeal for me. Limbo I hate, but you guys know that. I think this is my own private version of hell. I'm a doer who can't do. Instead I'm playing a waiting game being controlled by a mentally-ill passive aggressive who believes I am the source of all things evil in the universe, but who cannot seem to pull it together to be rid of me.
I don't believe the child support is taxable under any circumstances, just the alimony.
If his income is significantly larger than yours, it might actually be beneficial to get it done this year - he could give you more money at less cost to him because of the tax deduction.
Example: His top tax bracket is 35%. Your top bracket is 25%. Under current year tax rules, if he pays $2,000 in alimony, it costs him only [$2000 x 0.65 = 1300] $1300 out of pocket because he gets a 35% tax break on it. You receive $2000 on which you pay [2,000 x 0.25 = 500] $500 in taxes and pocket $1500. So it only costs him $1300 to pay you $1500.
Under next year's rules: If he pays you $2000 he can't deduct it so it costs him the full $2000 in after-tax dollars. He has to earn [2,000/0.65 = $3,076 ] $3,076 before taxes in order to pay you that $2,000 You don't pay taxes on it so you get the full $2,000.
In order for you to receive the same $1500 after taxes that you would under this year's rules, if you divorced next year under the the new rules he would have to earn [1500/0.65 = 2307] $2307 to pay you the same amount that would only cost him $2000 under today's rules.
Now mind you, if he's bad at math and taxes, it might possibly work to your advantage to wait until next year. I doubt the new tables on alimony will be able to accurately reflect these changes and also, if your income goes up in the future, as long as he's paying the taxes on it you will still receive the same amount instead of it being reduced by your higher tax bracket.
kml, yes it would be a benefit to get it done this year because I am at a much lower tax rate. The problem of course is that he will not cooperate, even in his own divorce filing. We are almost six months in and literally nothing has been done (other than me getting the case sent to the correct court--but that only took 1 week from my side). My attorney has reached out to his. No dice. I have reached out to him. No dice. (Remember this is the guy who had an auto accident a couple of weeks ago and won't respond to the insurance company so they can look at his car and process the claim, so that too is stalled).
He claimed when I contacted him in May that he wants to wrap this up quickly in a "reasonable" settlement (read whatever it is that he wants that he is keeping a state secret), but he will not tell me what he wants, won't schedule mediation, has served no discovery, there are no temporary orders (only an automatic stay for financial restraint that gets entered in every case).
I am baffled as usual. When you keep telling someone you want a divorce, actually file it (2 years later), have a huge tax change looming, have a spouse who says great lets get this wrapped up quickly and save time and money, and do nothing, you have people scratching their heads. Remember, I can't just present him with a proposed agreement--I did that two years ago and never got one single edit or requested change.
I really think I need to find a voodoo priestess to put a spell on him. I was hoping OW2 was going to do my dirty work in moving him along, but he seems to be stalling her too. Continuously getting his online dating profiles in my email (directed to my fake account) doesn't instill a lot of confidence in me that he is lurved up and this is going to get resolved any time soon. He is the anti HaWho's-H, who has been pushing that divorce.
Oy vey. Enough whining. Suffice it to say, I'll be in limbo for the rest of my life.
