Mainly I just felt like I wanted to die, but I would not commit suicide, because it would just ruin my grown children. However, if I died of natural causes, it would be fine with me.
I should clarify that the counselor we saw was the person I've been seeing. She asked about separation because she knows how much pain I am in over the EA and my husband talking and texting throughout the day. My husband intepreted it as her opinion (get separated!) instead of an option to explore, based on my pain. It was the only thing that he jumped on in the session--felt that the rest was a waste of time. He will not stop the "friendship," but when I referred to the EA as a kind of "substitute spouse" he said that wasn't true and "we're still married, aren't we." States that he sometimes wants to work on the marriage, sometimes not. My therapist felt that MC works best when both are "all in," which he can't say that he is. Disagrees with the statement that the "friendship" needs to be dropped BEFORE working on the marriage.
I love this man, and have since the age of 21. The pain is the worst I've ever encountered, even compared to years ago when he almost died of a brain infection. Nothing but critical things to say, although he surprised me this a.m. by saying "I love you."
I have three questions to ask him (the first of which I asked last night): 1. Are you trying to get me to leave the marriage? Answer: no. 2: If you are so miserable, why do you want to stay married, as least for now? and 3: If you want to see how the marriage turns out before pursing the EA, what are you willing to do to improve the marriage?
Should I ask my questions, or do the last resort technique?
