I'm going to play a little bit of devil's advocate here, so forgive me.
There are people on here far more experienced on here than me who I am sure are better placed to advise. You must be in a very difficult place right now but what concerns me is that at least twice you mention 'physicality' and aggression in what seems to be a very volatile relationship. This seems to be a problem for both of you.
You also have young children in the home.
One thing that is for sure is that this is not going to be an easy ride whatever happens and there will be many situations where you both feel at the end of your tether. Can either of you guarantee then when your buttons are being pressed, this won't become physical again? That cannot be allowed to happen around the children.
I know that in many situations, the general advice is to not move out, but I wonder if in your situation you may stand a better chance of DBing if you weren't under the same roof?
