GAL - I've been getting out more going for meals with a neighbour, visiting various public buildings, more IC, more hobbies. My routine looking after the kids is much better than when with W.
Met W yesterday at exchange with kids. I mentioned the pic that youngster had drawn of leaving to live with W and the caption 'worst day of my life'. W said that she only glanced at it and says it didn't say that. W is in total denial about the damage she's causing. It seems she rewrites anything that doesn't suit her agenda. W offered to come to collect the kids and take them to school. I declined. W said that she'd call in the morning. She did, I declined again.
You beating her up, in this case by throwing your son's picture in her face, is not going to shake her out of the denial. I can't help but think the kids are getting some of these vibes or ideas from you, and that you kinda like that your son did this to show her how wrong she is.
"Look W, you're hurting the kids! Come back!" That's the message I got. So you're trying to guilt her back and control the situation.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
I can't help but think the kids are getting some of these vibes or ideas from you, and that you kinda like that your son did this to show her how wrong she is.
Not at all. W is telling them their home is to be sold, we are not a family, she is asking them to lie to me etc. which is causing them distress. I tell them not to worry. In the custody court case I asked for a course to be included in the agreement that W and I would have to do to lesson the impact upon the kids as much as possible because I'm very worried about how W is with them.
A couple of weeks ago I'd been upset that W had frozen the joint account. Now I feel more independant paying the bills by myself.
When we first separated W had accused me of looking for opportunities to talk to her. The kids are currently staying with me and W has offered to take them to school tomorrow. I declined. W replied with a text that didn't make any sense.
I will be seeing W at a school event tomorrow. Conversation seems pointless because she rarely says anything about herself or her feelings. There's nothing to validate. I'm just going to try to have a laugh.
W turned up at the school event and took youngest out of school and away with her - which is against the custody court order as it was during time when youngest is supposed to be with me.
Has anyone got back together with a worse WAW/WW ?
She's violating your custody agreement, and this is what you are concerned about? But that speculation on the back burner and ensure she does not violate again.
Has anyone got back together with a worse WAW/WW ?
She's violating your custody agreement, and this is what you are concerned about? But that speculation on the back burner and ensure she does not violate again.
I agree with Ginger. What are you doing about the custody agreement??
And, I would say yes, people have gotten back with "worse" WW/WAWs.....but by following the program and the "rules" and so on. I dont get the sense that you are interested in learning much or changing your interactions with her based on the advice you are receiving.
I contacted my solicitor right away. That's all I could do. Statements are due today for the next custody court case so I had to be highly aware that W may have been trying to create a situation this morning to use against me.
I was just there to enjoy the event and W turned up later. W looked very shifty, tired, unhappy, nervous, and couldn't even look at me but it didn't bother me as I felt detached. I was polite, calm, happy and confident as usual. I felt a good inner strength. I was happy mixing with other people. W didn't. I noticed that W stepped towards me when I stepped away. I said to youngest that we were both very proud. W repeated that soon afterwards. W said to youngest to hold my hand. It all went wrong when youngest felt upset at not winning and W said to youngest 'do you want to go home?' then took youngest away early. It seems that W doesn't say 'no' to anything the kids want. W seems to think it's a popularity contest ahead of the next court case. In my book, that isn't good parenting but it might help her to win.
I am trying to learn and follow as much DB as I can and the books have now arrived so I'm reading them.
95% of your posts are about your soon to be ex wife.
If you look at peoples posts who have embraced this process i.e. Maika for example, they all post about themselves, the journey they are on, how they are feeling and what they are doing to cope etc..
No point sugar coating it and saying you are the same i.e. following DB because your not. It was only last week you were going to tell her this was all down to a parental death that made you depressed. No one that understands the process would consider doing that. There is a complete lack of understanding of the process and the impact of your actions- which is clearly reflected as your situation declines.
Its all about her, and what she said, what she did etc.. thats why you are not seeing on improvement in your situation and your W is still treating you with no respect and its not only affecting you but now your kids are being taken from school also.
While your soon to be ex wife is the main culprit, make no mistake the way you have handled this has contribited to what is happening. Of that i have no doubt what so ever.
