A new mindset for Burned. This is thread 7.

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Those of you who have filed, how did you know you were ready?

I think the old saying is "if you have to ask, you arent ready."
Seriously...at this point, what is your purpose in divorce? In my opinion, you will know when you know. When you are finished with the relationship and have no interest in considering continuing or revisiting it, thats when you end it. It sounds like you are still wanting to impact her in some way with this line of thinking.

Those of you who were served, what was that like? Were you blindsided or was there some kind of buildup?

It was a piece of paper that was sent to my lawyer's office. Luckily, nobody walked up to me at my home or while I was out and handed me papers.

I suggested a mediator and she seemed to think that was more than we needed. Not gonna try to interpret or mind read. Maybe she's completely terrified and uncertain. Maybe she's as cold and determined as her actions indicate. But she hasn't really taken any actions that a normal person would if they were dead-set on doing it. Like, OK, asking her brother how he did it. But she doesn't have a lawyer, she hasn't thought about taking over the mortgage, etc. etc. etc. So maybe her actions aren't as clear as I make them out to be.

I couldnt help but chuckle at your "not gonna mind read" comment considering what followed.
Look....she will file when she files.

And frankly, what would really be different if you were divorced right now?
Why does that signal seem to mean so much to you? There are plenty of people who get divorced and then remarry. I think I heard something like 5-10%, though who knows what number is really true. I guess my point is that your relationship is more than a piece of paper stating your legal obligations to each other.

However, if she thinks it's just a matter of signing an agreement after we have a little discussion, and I say, "I won't stand in your way if you want D," am I not standing in her way by putting off having that little discussion?

Seriously? Are you avoiding her calls? Are you hiding from her? Are you deliberately taking a long time to sign stuff? She will move at whatever pace she decides. Fast, slow, impossibly slow. Incredibly fast. Let her. Do your own thing and focus on you and what is important to you. IT ISNT YOUR JOB TO HELP HER THROUGH THIS. You arent standing in her way by doing nothing..

I just don't want to be the guy who is a pain in the rear because he didn't cooperate, thereby worsening the sitch.

I know this sounds flippant, but it's a serious question.
What do you mean by "worsen" the sitch? And also.....how are you not cooperating? By not running over and fixing the thermostat??