Happy Birthday FS. Really hope it goes better than you anticipate it will. Try to focus on who IS there instead of who isn't. I know it is hard... it is SO hard. This is such a rollercoaster ride, isn't it. Like you ... I have good days... some really good days... but then something happens... an occasion or something seemingly insignificant that reminds me life is not the same as it was. Of course it wasn't when my H was lying to me either... but I didn't know it - not really. So it was easier to deal with. At this moment, I am aware that my H is nervously anticipating a job interview that happens in about an hour. If things were normal, I would have texted him a "good luck" and "you got this" pep talk. I'm sure he expects it. But...I've told myself no texts this week unless he reaches out first or I have business to discuss. So...I'm sitting here feeling quite uneasy...I know full well that it is him who has abandoned me but in this moment, I feel like I have abandoned him. frown Anyway... just wanted to reach out and give you some support. Try to enjoy your day. Hug those beautiful kids of yours. Do something nice for yourself. There is life after all of this even if it is tough to see right now. It will be a good one. (((HUGS)))