Unsure what's next, what to do.....

[Wanted1]

This kind of falls in line with what burned stated, but I think I provided a decent amount of 180ing (or however you want to state it) during that joint session yesterday. I kept validating what she said and although a couple times I said, "I understand how it came off that way...." or "I understand how it could feel that way but those were not my intentions at all." I think I handled it far better than I would have in the past which before would have been me trying to justify my side or justify my feelings and what I meant. Maybe that got her wheels turning, I don't know. But if I surprised myself a little bit I can't help but think maybe I surprised her as well.

My plan is to do the exact same thing in the next session which hasn't been scheduled yet.

Like I said before, up until last night this "limbo" as been absolutely killing me and giving me great anxiety. I have since realized that this "limbo" has given me the advantage of time. Time to show her that the changes I'm making for myself are sincere, honest and will stick moving forward. I completely understand that she can't view them as honest yet. It's only been a month. I can't expect her to move past the 7+ years or however long she is referring to just because I've changed for only 4 weeks. I need this time to prove to her that my changes aren't just "to get her back."

I'm also hoping that since she pretty much bottom-lined it for everyone in the session yesterday that she's still leaning toward D and "sees no point in working it out" that if I keep up with my changes moving forward she will realize that I'm doing them for me. Now that she's told me she feels as though there is little chance at R, at this point, and I stop with my changes it will be pretty obvious I was doing them for her. If she sees me continuing to make the changes in the face of a possible D, maybe that will help her realize that they are true and not just for her and she can believe in them. I'm going to keep trying to look at it from that point of view.