Home Depot on a Saturday morning is good too lol! Still, the only guy I met after my divorce that wasn't from online dating was the guy who picked me up while shopping in Big Lots. (That should have been a sign. He was definitely broke.)
Thank you Kml and Andrew!! Andrew: I do have the perfect setting at work to meet men. My problem here is my town is too small. We all know one another and when a couple split, everyone else want to hook you up. I feel i cannot do this to the other party involved.. Exemple: My best friend wanted to hook me up with her brother-in-law eventho she loves her ex-sister-in-law who happened to be a ex-co-woeker of mine and i love her to. I could not do this to her..
There is a man spinning around me. Very kind and nervous around me. His son was an employee of mine. Again, i love his ex-wife and do not want to hurt her. Conflict of interest?...lol I think i am jumping ahead of myself.. The on-line gentleman i contacted live in the Sudbury region. Eventho my relocating is in proximity of that region, i am still over 300 Km away at the moment..
Around here, when you pay attention, you hear more and more affair or relationship began at work. Even 2 of my 3 tries began at work. It was rough when it fell apart. I am sooo lucky to have good employers who came and got me back
I flip the scale back and forth i want a relationship, i don' t want a relationship...
I guess when someone really triggers a spark in me, i will go for it..
KML.. lol.. Home depot is also a good place for sure.. I remember going to get lumber for my reno and a customer ( male ) was curious about my intention. He was listening to my conversation with the owner ( good friend of mine). That same man was asking about my project everytime he ran into me. He ended-up being my contractor to install a patio door and a front door.( i am good at construction but not to that extant) we became great friend and coffee buddies. Married..( i know his wife and had 2 of their grand-kids in my class back then). None the less, i met a man there.. lol
One more thing on a very serious matter.. My own experience and devastation of my ex' s departure which i now see as a blessing in disguise but i did not back then.. far from it..
He is still very messed up.. All good/ all bad with me AND the children. I would be lying if i was to say that i wasn' t afraid of his reaction. He created alot of trouble with his constant presence in my 3rd relationship.( the longest one of the 3). He drained me. He was also a problem to the kids. Fishing for info, using them to make physical contact etc.. in one of my earlier thread, i mentioned him coming to the store frequently for no reason, constantly.. i don' t want that.. i don' t want to put anyone through that.. And as crazy as this may sound, i do not want to do to him what he did to me because i know he will be devastated and messed up even more than he already is...
He has been quiet in my world and i like it like that. All i hear of him is from the kids.. By the way, he forgot Son' s birthday last week-end. He has spoken to D18 twice since she moved out of home.( he used to talk to her every 2 to 3 days while she was here. Info) In her last talked with him, he asked her if she prayed at night.. she said no, well, sometimes.. he said he does when he can' t sleep.. again, she said his call was weird. Son beleive someone tiped ex-h about his birthday as son got a text only last night from his father.( 2 days late). I spoke... Son, you were his informant when you were home until you left for College than, D18, you became it until you left.. who is next?? He will become D15' s best friend.. watch.. They all looked at eachother like a light was shed unto them and all agreed with me.. They shared more of their interactions and thoughts about ex. He is spinning lately.. Remember, he apparently cut ME off?? Well, last week, i had 6 missed calls from a "long distance private number". In all of the years i have been living here, does were ex-h.. i am 90% sure it still is and i am not contacting him back just so he can prove i am the one contacting him.. it' s a set-up.. ( i know how he plays his game)
I've seen this sort of story lots of times. They want to leave but they can't let go. For people like both of our ex spouses we were "their's". Mine was very possessive and controlling. What I thought at the time as protective.
On the other hand, you and I both know far more about what is going on with them than perhaps we should. You perhaps more than I as my son, if he is a conduit for information is only from here to there. I get information from mutual acquaintances and yes, do drive by her apartment from time to time to see if she's still stuck. It "is" on my way to work but there are other routes I could take and usually do.
Is she watching me? Hard to say but I assume yes. The sister store to the one she manages is across the street and historically she would be there regularly. Don't know if she is now or not. The house is on the main street, I'm fairly "noisy" on social media, heck she even knows where the spare key is and maybe even kept a copy.
I do wonder what her reaction will be when I do indeed form a new relationship. Fortunately there is nothing threatening that she can do (famous last words?).
You are a fair bit farther out time-line wise than I am. And you had to have regular contact with him because of the kids. From your past posts he certainly was controlling - he would perhaps call it "taking responsibility". When mine left 2 1/2 years ago, that was essentially the last I saw her.
But as you write, we are in very many ways better off without them than we would have been if we had "won". And they're not (partial speculation on my part). They largely seem to have followed the script we read about here. Will they hit "rock bottom" and "change"? Doubtful in your case. Remotely possible in mine. But despite so very far they have "fallen" there is always more down they can travel.
I know you love your kids and are there for them as a sounding board for them to talk to you about anything. Is it perhaps time to ask them to no longer tell you about their father?
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I thought about it many time.. It is hard to keep calm but it is a safe place for them to vent (with me) as i know what they are saying and what they are dealing with just as all of you are to me. They share alot amoung eachother aswell.. i do not know everything. When they exchange as a group, you can hear their pain and anger toward the situation ( not ex-h but what ex-h does or say ). It always end with.. He is messed up. He is a mess. He is something else...
Son is the only one who fights with him. Again in their last fight, i was called an a**hole. Son replied: call me a**hole all you want but what i am saying is true. Ex-h said: all you said, i heard before from your mom.. Son replied: and your cousins, and your brothers and your ex's.. Mom has nothing to do with this.. This was a yelling match..
Who calls his son an a**hole?? Don' t tell me he does not get why son gets cold towatds him?? Nope... easier to blame me for brainwashing everyone he knows.... oh well.. i am much more powerful than i give myself credit for.. lol His whole story has no logic..
When i put all of it together.. the kids' s stories, V' s revealations, this crisis intervention leader guy from Match... It freaks me out!!! I hope their is not a message i am missing. Eventhen, there is nothing i can do.. Bon, enough of this.. lol Let' s watch a bit a tv..
Andrew, have you ever watched " Long lost family" ? They do their research with DNA.. ancestry.. I know you have experience a reunion with a family member. This show might be interesting for you. It will be on at 9pm on TLC..
Thanks exquisitetobe - I don't actually have cable. We dropped that years ago. I do miss being able to watch CNN and Disney although CNN had gone down-hill for a while I felt.
That and the fact that I was already in bed before 9:00pm - 'cuz I'm that exciting.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Lol... Don' t cut yourself short. Many of us are happy to hear from you , read you and appreciate you! And soon, i will join you in the excitement.. lol once the clock go back an hour, i am in bed by 8h30-9h00.
Tonight, D18 announced to me that ex-h might be diagnosed with the same type of cancer that his baby sister died of at the age of 30. He told the kids he might have a couple of years left.
It might be hard for some of you to beleive but my entire life flashed infront of me. My choices, my reactions, my present and uncertainty of the future.. i am grieving all over again. I am sad and scared..
