Thank you for the words of encouragement DejaVu6. Like a lot of people here I expect, I find it easy to talk the talk rather than walk the walk and keep the emotions in check.
Today is going to be a tough day because I've woken up in a 'victim' mood probably because I spend part of the night thinking up nasty emails to send him. My challenge is to get through the day without resorting to sending something.
I'd settled into a good place after a longer period of NC but him contacting me about the kids has put me into a spin again. I will try to build up the detachment happy place again. I felt in control in that place but maybe I'm being a bit childish as I now think that he has also being NC as it is the line of least resistance for him. I want it to be my 'thing' not his.
All our married life he has had the ability to 'sulk' for long periods until I (got cross then got over it) made things better.
He probably doesn't think that I have the staying power in this situation either. He was definitely loving the thought of having 2 women 'fighting' over him. He even said to me once 'perhaps I should put you both in a room and you could each take the bits that you want' I'm disgusted with myself that I allowed him to think that for a while.
I'm going to repeat to myself all day "I will remain dignified....I will remain dignified ...."
