MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART XII

[ItHurts]

Thanks so much guys! Yeah this is all surreal to me...the stuff that made frequent appearances in my dreams over the years. R with WAW even being discussed. It's surreal. It was all so, so long ago. So long ago after she left I sat there...in our apartment home for 17 years that was suddenly a dungeon with empty walls that once displayed our many photos and memories, and moving boxes everywhere. I was alone in deep, deep, despair. This was my beloved home just a few weeks ago...now it's all blown apart. The future was nothing to me...there was no future for me without her. However, as is everything in life...the years just FLY BY. Time doesn't care if you're balling yourself into glorious unconsciousness feeling nothing but intense, powerful despair. But it's true...life keeps going and time feels like it's flying by just like it always has. Now I'm here 4 years later (and several other lifetimes later it feels like with all that's happened since she left, girlfriends, family deaths)...it's weird. So you guys with fresh bomb drops, continue to cry yourselves to sleep if you have to, whatever it takes to make another day pass, because you never, never, NEVER know what this crazy life will unfold for you down the road. You'll live a completely different life. That post-bomb life is what gives you your strength back...and that strength is what just might attract your ex back down the road. Most importantly however, that strength gets you to a place where you are very aware you can survive just fine without WAW. She will merely now be a want, not a need.

Now I'm a long ways away from considering an R with my WAW a sure thing...but from here on out if she wants to enjoy my presence it's going to be on my terms...not hers. So trust me newbies, it just won't hurt so bad anymore one day...I remember my dark days well...and now I look back and realize that this life goes by so, so fast. Another reason why I decided it was time for WAW to either get back with me or take a walk...I don't have precious time to waste and I don't want to be single forever. I'm fairly confident she is on the same page with me now...but you just never know so I'm ready for anything.
So I'm putting this one to bed and sticking a fork in it... regardless of how the story will end. One way or another I'm ending it soon... either she and I get back together and move on together or she continues with this absurd "doubt" she has/had and I'll tell her I'm done and we are going our separate ways.