You're talking out of both sides of your mouth. One minute you say you are doing it for you and the next you are seeking W's approval. If I told you that seeking her approval got you here, can you find it in yourself to stop?
Stop the D talk. Stop saying it to your self and stop posting about it. If it happens, it happens. The people here can give you the tools to decrease the odds of it happening, but you have to listen and follow the advice. You sound pitiful with this "maybe I should just blah blah blah.." Yea, it hurts. We all know. It requires this much pain to get it through our LBSs thick skulls all the changes we need to make. Make permanent.
You have to get your mojo back. For you. Your W doesn't like the spinless bata that you have become. Neither do you. Until you love yourself and become the guy you used to be, you won't be attractive to anybody that you want to be with.
Stop this D talk with the W. Stand up to her. Stop negotiating. If she wants to make an offer tell her to send it and you will consider it. DON'T discuss the terms. She is using it to control you. You can be firm without fighting. Make her do it all and don't agree to anything without your own counsel. F her time frame. You still have to agree.
Stop posting to social media. There is nothing that you can post that will change the way she feels. Nothing. Be a mystery.
This could all turn around before it is too late. It can. I wouldn't rush to tell the girls.
The time has come for you to be the man in this relationship. Forget the hope. Trust in God. Work on getting YOU back. I can tell you are failing at detaching. It's not too late to start. W will see it in your limited interactions. Don't engage her, don't read into any tests. Just do what you said you were doing. Detach, GAL smoke cigars. Leave the MR alone at this time.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
