Yesterday H came over to do the lawn. I was home getting a project done. We hugged, and I felt he was close to breaking down, but he didn’t. We chit chatted about house stuff, car repairs, etc. I think I backtracked a bit on detachment as I asked him whether he planned to go to any of the classes at the gym as people were asking about him. I told him I wanted to know because I didn’t know what to say. No one except for a very few people know he is living elsewhere. He said he didn’t know if it would be awkward if we were there together. I said I didn’t know until we tried it. When he left, he gave me a light, quick kiss, long hug and said he missed me. I told him I missed him too. Not sure if that was the right thing to do. Later he texted me and said it was good to see me. Not sure how to respond, I just sent a smiley face.
H texted me earlier today saying he was going to class and asked if I was. I just said Yes. Before the workout, he said he was looking at places starting Nov. We originally agreed to a 2 months separation, and then reassess. His Oct rental was for 4 weeks, so he’s looking for a move. He said it’s cheaper per month to get a furnished apartment for 2 months instead of one. I was a little surprised and told him I thought we were going to reassess after 2 months but he can do what he wants. Later I did suggest that the kids would be home the whole month of December and he can sleep in the spare bedroom so he can be with them over the Holidays. He said he would think about it. ( I doubt he will. I think he's avoiding the kids, and hasn't even contacted D19 yet as far as I know). We parted with me telling him I was busy the rest of the week so I wouldn’t be at the gym so he can feel free to go to any class and didn’t have to let me know. He got a little defensive and said he thought I told him it was o.k. I told him it was, but since he texted me today I wanted to let him know I wouldn’t be there. If he chooses the place he’s looking at for Nov and Dec, it’s too far to go to class so this is only going to be for another week or 2.
I could use some advice on how to navigate this. I’m the one that suggested it might be better if he moved out for a few months to figure out what he wants, and I can use that time to do the same. Is what occurred and how I handled it a major set-back? I’ve got plans every night the rest of the week, and I don’t feel upset, bad, or really anything after seeing and talking to H after 2 weeks, so I guess that’s something.
