A new mindset for Burned. This is thread 7.

[burned]

For those joining us at this point...I don't know what to say. The last thread taught me a lesson: gathering facts does not result in a whole lot of anything except spinning, negative emotions, fear, and the resulting bad decisions that are made based on fear.

Now I know what I know, and it hasn't resulted in any personal growth. So it's time to get out of my head. It's time to start holding myself accountable. Time to set some goals and really get to work on them, on the recommendation and relentless encouragement of Amoafwl.

Yesterday I quit drinking alone. It was getting out of hand. This was something I had been thinking of doing for a long time. And since I live alone, from now on I won't be keeping any beer in the fridge. This morning I was pretty agitated, anxious, and irritable. I know this will pass. So anyway, that was an unwritten goal that got achieved.

Good goals are SMART: specific, measurable, accomplishable, relevant, and time-bound. And they can be nested!

Here's one of my main goals: be more positive. W was always frustrated by my glass-half-full attitude, and I think it may have been a contributor to my sitch. More importantly, a positive attitude will be a contributor to a healthier relationship in the future. I have struggled with depression all of my life (and psychologists will tell you that the earlier it starts, the worse it tends to be). You could call me dysthymic on my best days.

But that goal is too abstract. It's more of a LIFE goal (long-term, important, far-reaching, and empowering -i just came up with that one myself). So let's nest some SMART goals in there that I'd like to accomplish by the end of October:

1. watch a video on positivity with Shawn Achor accomplished! (that's what led to this)
2. start and maintain a gratitude journal (I had been doing it haphazardly, now there's structure)
3. get better at making goals by reading some books on goal-setting (is this a meta-goal?) -- ordered Creating Your Best Life and The Slight Edge
4. exercise (might be tough to accomplish due to currently-broken ankle)
5. do random acts of kindness daily -- for example, floating around this board and saying encouraging things to you all, but also complimenting people at work for things they did well (I am the only male alongside 9 females with doctoral degrees, so I'll try not to compliment anyone on their attire)

There's a start. Hopefully when I accomplish goal #3 I'll get better at this. I've already learned that you have to operationalize these bad boys to the best of your ability.