One more thing on a very serious matter..
My own experience and devastation of my ex' s departure which i now see as a blessing in disguise but i did not back then.. far from it..

He is still very messed up.. All good/ all bad with me AND the children.
I would be lying if i was to say that i wasn' t afraid of his reaction. He created alot of trouble with his constant presence in my 3rd relationship.( the longest one of the 3). He drained me. He was also a problem to the kids. Fishing for info, using them to make physical contact etc.. in one of my earlier thread, i mentioned him coming to the store frequently for no reason, constantly.. i don' t want that.. i don' t want to put anyone through that..
And as crazy as this may sound, i do not want to do to him what he did to me because i know he will be devastated and messed up even more than he already is...

He has been quiet in my world and i like it like that.
All i hear of him is from the kids..
By the way, he forgot Son' s birthday last week-end.
He has spoken to D18 twice since she moved out of home.( he used to talk to her every 2 to 3 days while she was here. Info)
In her last talked with him, he asked her if she prayed at night.. she said no, well, sometimes.. he said he does when he can' t sleep.. again, she said his call was weird.
Son beleive someone tiped ex-h about his birthday as son got a text only last night from his father.( 2 days late).
I spoke... Son, you were his informant when you were home until you left for College than, D18, you became it until you left.. who is next?? He will become D15' s best friend.. watch..
They all looked at eachother like a light was shed unto them and all agreed with me..
They shared more of their interactions and thoughts about ex. He is spinning lately..
Remember, he apparently cut ME off?? Well, last week, i had 6 missed calls from a "long distance private number".
In all of the years i have been living here, does were ex-h.. i am 90% sure it still is and i am not contacting him back just so he can prove i am the one contacting him.. it' s a set-up.. ( i know how he plays his game)