I can't help but think the kids are getting some of these vibes or ideas from you, and that you kinda like that your son did this to show her how wrong she is.
Not at all. W is telling them their home is to be sold, we are not a family, she is asking them to lie to me etc. which is causing them distress. I tell them not to worry. In the custody court case I asked for a course to be included in the agreement that W and I would have to do to lesson the impact upon the kids as much as possible because I'm very worried about how W is with them.