Thank you for that much-needed 2x4 AS. You are totally right. This was all my doing. It was one of my first big tests and I epically failed.
I re-read his invitation again... it suggested we take the boat ride together and then he could drive me back to my car which is exactly what happened. I obviously went in with expectations I was not fully aware of... that he would invite me to continue on with their time together. So... I missed two opportunities. The first one was when he texted me and I could have said "no". It crossed my mind, believe me, but I know he had almost asked me to go with them before and this was the first of this kind of invite so I went against my better judgement and agreed to meet them. Opportunity number two was when he dropped me off, I could have thanked him for the invite and genuinely told my kids to have a great day with their dad and went happily off to have dinner with my sister [which was my plan in the first place - and I did manage to enjoy it despite all of this]. But no... I reacted... and then took my giant step backward. That sucked because the weekend had gone so well. My H and I did end up having a bit more communication. He apologized...said there were no ill intentions and that he "had been reaching out" (whatever that means) and I apologized for overreacting when I knew that he had not intended to hurt me. He later on sent me a text thanking me and told me to sleep well.
So back to DBing this week. I have plans tonight and tomorrow night with friends so H will be with the kids at our house... gone before I return which is good. Wednesday we have a parent-teacher interview that will hopefully go okay although I know my son has said things to her about our sitch so hoping that doesn't come up. Thursday is my day with the twins but H may want to see them as he is going away to his annual writers' conference Friday and Saturday. Sunday is my overnight trip with my sister. H will be with the kids and I will be gone before he arrives so we won't be seeing each other or communicating much at all this weekend. Typically when he goes to this conference, he will send me periodic texts about how it is going but I know that won't happen this time and I am okay with it. I need the break.
Anyway... this is definitely a "down" in the ups and downs I predicted. I still feel like I am in a pretty good place despite my slip up. Yesterday really did catch me by surprise and was a valuable learning experience. The stupid part is that I knew at the time that I was making all the wrong choice((s)... I just got caught up in my hurt feelings and let my heart overrule my head. I will be sure to remember this the next time something like this comes up.
