You're right the self improvement is difficult to unwed from the hope. Like you, rationally I know I am doing it for me, but the broken little girl inside me still screams, if I am interesting enough, pretty enough, thin enough, together enough, then he will love me again. I guess the trick is keeping that hope alive long enough so that eventually the changes become for you and you only.
The hope is there as long as you need it to be. She cannot take it away from you. its your (and i have problems with this too) expectations that she has power over. Advice that I tell myself - Keep the hope. Learn to drop the expectations.
