Today was a very lonely day, with a lot of emotional pain. I really never had much self-worth to begin with, so simply saying GAL doesn't do much for me. What tips can you give me? I also find myself wishing that someone would simply hold me so that I would not feel so alone.
First, I am very sorry you're going through this, but please know that we have all been through it or are going through it so you're among kindred spirits here.
Second, of course GAL is not going to do anything for you now, but you MUST do it. It is absolute critical to recovery. I had to drag myself out of the house at first, there was nothing I wanted to do less. I really just wanted to curl up in the corner. But after listening to the people here preach it so much, I made myself. It was really, REALLY hard at first. It slowly got easier to do, then eventually I started enjoying it and wanted to get out. And I still do those activities to this day and enjoy the heck out of them. I wish I had MORE time for GAL! It's released me from my dependence on others to make me happy. It's not a magic pill that makes everything go away instantly, but do it and give it time to work, I promise that it will.
Another benefit of GAL is it helps you to realize that your H is NOT your life. He's just a part of it. By the time you fully embrace GAL, if he decides to come back you'll be in a much better position to ask yourself if you even really want him back, and to lay out the requirements you expect of him before you'll consider recon.
