AnotherStander, Perhaps you are right and this is some sort of happiness trap but currently I'm not so sure it is. It is hard to explain and perhaps saying I don't care is incorrect. I do care a great deal, about my wife, about my family about everything. But I don't really care about the outcome of this. I would certainly prefer if one day my wife came to me and said that she had second thoughts about divorce and wanted to work on things, that would be amazing. But I am at a point where I really know that I will be OK regardless of the outcome. It will be hard, especially on the kids and again not the outcome I would prefer but in the end I will be OK.
For me to say the outcome isn't going to affect me in any way was wrong and you are 100% correct. In reality it is and currently it is honestly one of the best things that has happened to me. The thought of divorce has caused me to take a hard look at myself and while the things I am learning are not the greatest looking back the fact that I recognize them and am begining to correct them is the best thing ever looking forwards.
I am currently working on NMMNG and am working hard at it. I am a kind person and am going to continue to be but for myself. I am working on remaining kind but within my newly discovered boundaries. I am not letting people take advantage of me, I am not doing things I do not really feel good about doing for the sake of pleasing the other person. I am still being a kind person though but for me and because of me. Still have a long ways to go on this subject as well though.
