I need to work on being concise without coming across as cold. When I try to be friendly I talk too much, so need to practice.
I think I should have phrased my 'open door' better. Do I leave it unsaid? Is it something he would pick up from my demeanor rather than spoken word? This where I struggle. To detach I put up a hardened shell which makes it difficult to sound pleasant and supportive. I know I'm too much a black and white character in general so when I lay done boundaries I can tend to come across as harsh and nasty.
Why does he feel the need to tell me about his relationship with OW? We have talked about it in the past (before I knew better) but I have told him now, more than once, that I am not interested in her crazy life or her affair with him. So why keep bringing her up and telling me 'we're just talking, we're not a couple' Is it to push my buttons and see what I'll come back with, or because he is used to me being his emotional crutch where she is concerned?
When I think of the number of times that he has 'cried' on my shoulder in the last 4 months about how badly she has treated him and how he sees her for what she is and how toxic it is. He's making his choices to choose that over the marriage so why keep telling me?
