I spent time this weekend re-reading most of my old threads. Wow, hours of reading. I remember most of the circumstances surrounding the posts but looking at the time frame was enlightening. Not in a million years could I tell you when some of these things happened. 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year? I'm bad with this sort of thing.
Anyway, some of the posts made me feel good and some reminded me of pain. Very cathartic and insightful. Things that I felt needed explanation are nothing more than dust in the wind. Thank you all for your continued support. I see where prudent advice was given and the student just wasn't ready to hear it. I also wanted to see if I could figure out how long it had been since intimacy. I thought it had been like 6 or 8 months, more like 4.
So, in the spirit of journaling, I will document an interesting experiment. Upon reading about Talk and Touch Charges (dumb name, btw) upon Steve85's recommendation, I decided to try something. I had initiated a few hugs recently that were well received. Even appreciated although I struggle to imagine W initiating any unless something really profound happens. Friday W went to a friends BDay party and spent the night as it was an hour away and these girls don't catch up much and either because of 3 vodka tonics or some party food that had sat out too long or a guilty conscious, she came home Sat morning with what seems to be mild food poisoning. I was kind and a little amused, but I digress. I tell you this because of last night. After getting the clear to do spicy wings she had said that she seemed okay. Fast forward to this morning. W had extra time and instead of being MIA, I made myself available. Meaning I was around where she was. No expectations but curious as to what she might do. She did nothing and went to take her shower and get ready for work. Fine Before she left for work W made a point to come into my home office and say she was leaving. She also added that this morning coffee wasn't sitting well on her stomach. She then seemed to be monitoring for my reaction. I didn't react and she said "What?" I shook my head and said nothing. Was this some sort of excuse for not initiating? Was it a new form of consideration for my feelings?
Who knows and it's mindreading. Just thought it was interesting.
Should I back off with these occasional hugs?
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.