WAW on rebound, toxic inlaws, mental health issues

[trbuste]

OK... ground breaking change of situation. The wife has come out of lockdown! (at least to some extent).

Please, if anybody is reading this, please provide me your $2c of feedback because the next week(s) or so will be pivotal.
My DB coach is currently away and not available for another couple of weeks.

First of all I will summarise what happened:
* Friends suggested to give her little snippets of information about my life and our friends, the cat, the house etc. over the past few months and I have done so. The messages went ignored.
* Then about two weeks ago I lost my patience (not good DB-ing) and sent her an e-mail straight to her work inbox titled "We need to talk" and body of the message "Please contact me when you are ready"
* She then snapped back within 30 minutes I received two emails from her saying that "she preferred to hear I was thinking of her" and that "we need" was very forceful. Fair enough. But it broke the 8-month streak of silence.
* Together with another counsellor I had prepared a very personable letter full of apologetic language, and clearly showing the desire to work on the marriage again, inviting her for a conversation. I sent this on Friday.
* Within 3 hours I received a response from her again with the following, she said:
- that she cannot see how having a conversation would change things
- she would be repeating herself
- that I should have listened when she first raised relationship problems and I chose to ignore them
- never excludes having a conversation or shows unwillingness towards it, she just thinks it won't have a purpose
- goes on to say "that it would be better for me to find someone else" - again not excluding herself
- tells me that if I continue to reach out to her on her work address she will have me blocked
- makes absolutely NO MENTION whatsoever of any financial or legal consequences.

She specifically avoids using the word divorce (she has never said it, not once)
Makes no effort whatsoever to wrap up finances (assets/property) or any legal aspects regarding the situation
She acts as if the MARRIAGE DOES NOT EXIST and this is simply a teenage break-up where you break off contact and never see each other again.