So I have not posted in a while, but I am reading a lot here and it is just so helpful to read of others in similar situations. I had this week of. I was out a lot with the kids and with friends, but also took some time for myself. I felt I needed some time to grieve, just cry a bit and not always holding it back and being busy. So I grieved about everything we will be missing in the future, everything we have missed out on during the last year already and also beyond that. I stumbled over the sex starved marriage and I know that was one of our problems for years. I wish I had taken it more serious. We might be in a different place now. But I also acknowledge finally that I was also partly unhappy in the marriage for a long time due to him always prioritizing work over family or me. We really needed change, just my understanding of change is different from his. In the meantime I have contacted some lawyers just to get some information. H might be filing soon and I want to be prepared. Some friends tell me to try and beat him, since it is an international D and the faster one decides where D would take place. For A while that put a lot of stress onto me, but for now I do not want D so I will not file. I hope we will be able to talk before anyone makes the move, but I guess it is not a good idea to bring the topic up from my side.
So I have four more weeks under one roof with him. Should I try to enjoy that time. We just had lunch in the kitchen together just the two of us. It’s very rare that it is just the two of us in the same room. We both kind of avoid it. We had a casual conversation mainly about the kids, some little logistics regarding splitting up all the utilities moving forward. Maybe I should not try to avoid him so much and instead be very pleasant. Maybe that will be more of a contrast then when he moves out. But I might come across as pursuing?
